Is Social Anxiety Real?

I used to think my adult son was being a pain in the rear when he explained he had trouble coping with social anxiety. It seemed to rear its head only when I asked him to complete tasks. “Jeff call your doctor’s office and get an appointment.” It didn’t get done. He claimed that was because of his anxiety.  “Jeff, email so and so about this.” Nah! Social Anxiety again. “You have to get your car in for an oil change.” It didn’t happen, he was too anxious. Lazy?  I thought so. It’s difficult to understand these things if you do not experience them. I’ve always been assertive or aggressive in public, as the situation warrants.  It’s not that I’m not afraid to address authority, it’s just that I know I must do it. It’s simple, if you want things done, you push yourself, right?  I had no clue that Jeff was unable to push himself and that I was pushing him into panic attacks. For the past few years, I’ve been doing online research. My former nursing career didn’t seem quite as appealing to return to, once my husband died so I never did. I found many alternative jobs online that I can do. The more I worked alone online, the more introverted I became. I got a first-hand taste of coping with social anxiety for myself. Now, I’m not a big mess of socially anxious plasma, but all the solitary online work has enhanced my anxiety levels. Now I hesitate when approaching more powerful figures like the tax guy, or the investment guy. I feel out of touch, which then increases my anxiety level. It’s just a small taste of what my son experiences daily and I don’t like it!  It’s just awful.

Coping with Social Anxiety

Jeff can’t even send an email without reviewing it several times. He has panic attacks when he is forced to send emails out quickly. He just cannot press the Enter key! He hovers over it, rethinking what he’s written, re-reading the entire email over and over. He reconsiders picking up the phone to make a call many times before finally doing it. Whether the call is for work or personal, it’s still a challenge. He calls this phenomenon being “socially awkward,” and claims many of his friends suffer from this, as well. They are all programmers. I get it! They sit in front of a computer and talk to others via Slack or using other similar messaging apps. The computer programming field may have attracted them because of their problem with talking to others. Using electronic messaging rather than interacting 1:1 socially then compounded the anxiety. Their profession can make coping with social anxiety a downhill snowball!

Dedication

Fortunately, for Jeff and others, there are ways of dealing with the social awkwardness.  Jeff has done a lot of work in conquering some of his fears, and others can, too. I’m dedicating this site to sufferers of actual social anxiety, not posers like me. The lessons and articles on the site are for those who panic at the thought of doing everyday things. The people who have trouble buying a car, going on a flight, or getting a library card. It’s for the ones who are insecure about dealing with “authority figures.” It’s for my son and his geek friends who are all on some level socially awkward.